Courting a woman who you’ve never met before can certainly be a challenge; especially if you are the kind of guy who thinks silly pick-up-lines and sucking-up to them is going to work. Although, the truth is, if you know how to carry yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, you could get away with almost anything. But this is usually with men who are experienced with women and know how play-off their rejections.
But why is courting such a game in the first place? Why can’t men and women just be straight-up and honest about what they really want? The answer to both of those questions can be summed up in two words: natural selection. Nature is cruel and will never be fair. Only the strong will survive and those who don’t have what it takes will be weeded out of existence. In order for women to select the right guys they have to eliminate all the wrong ones, so they have to create a test and see who is really who to avoid anyone those who are lying their way into their pants. Neither sex can be absolutely honest because no one would know if they were being honest in the first place; thus they have to test each other out and women have the advantage here, as they naturally have their guard up and its up men to make the first move. If women protect themselves like this, there would be no way for them to eliminate creeps, losers, clingers, etc., from the equation and would end up sleeping with the wrong kind of men; risking their health, wasting tons of time, and losing their dignity.
Women have to deal with way more unwanted attention than men do in their everyday lives. Imagine getting hit on several times a day; not a single day goes by where you can enjoy a coffee at Starbucks, get new clothes at the mall, or shop for groceries without being hit on someone. If we just took the modest three times a day scenario that adds up to over 1000 times a year. For some women, three times a day isn’t even close to the actual number of the approaches they get when you combine the onslaught of men hitting on them on social media. So in order to reduce the amount and deflect thee unwanted approaches, women have to use their first and most powerful line of defense: the “bitch-shield.”
I have had a lot of attractive girlfriends (just friends too) in my life who are actually great, sweet women that wouldn’t hurt a fly, but the second a guy says something creepy, inappropriate, or shows any sign of weakness, they go from sweet to total bitch in less than a second. This is when you know a woman is putting up her bitch-shield. The bitch-shield not only gets rid of undesirable men, it also is a preventive measure to ensure she doesn’t risk health. Since sex for women carries way more risks than it does for men, they must make sure that the guys they are interested in can pass their tests and prove their worthiness. This does not mean that women are in full control of mating game, because any real alpha male would pass her tests with flying colors, but it does mean they don’t make it easy for men who aren’t so confident and aren’t to obtain her trust.
Time is also another huge reason why the bitch-shield is used by women; there is simply not enough time in a woman’s life to give every man her attention; even if she wanted to, and that’s why she must be won. She knows deep down inside that only an alpha male will be able to deactivate her defenses and win her over without a sweat, so she is waiting patiently for him as she battles through the barrage of endless attack from the beta males. Anyone who fails to break through the shield will lose her interest; even if it’s a sweet, attractive man who is everything she may think she wants, if he cannot break past her bitch-shield, it’s over.
Time and time again I’ve heard stories from my girlfriends where they would so excited and attracted to this specific guy, but they just couldn’t play the game right and it ended up killing the attraction. They would be so upset that such an attractive guy had everything going for him but balls (confidence). If you don’t have balls, you can’t really call yourself a man can you? Can you really blame a girl for testing every man she meets and literally breaking his balls in one way or any other to see what he’s made of? You really can’t; it’s just the way the game works and you can either cry about it or learn how to break the bitch-shield.
The best way to break through a woman’s bitch-shield is for you to be yourself and always respond to her with witty comebacks. She may hit you with low blows and partial insults, but never allow her reality to dominate yours. If you set the pace, the standards, and lead the interaction, she will have no choice but to follow you. Always stand your ground even if it causes her to blow up the interaction. Why? Because you can return to try again later on and reframe the interaction with a playful approach. Just make sure that you return unaffected by her rejection. By remaining unaffected by her bitchiness, she will actually respect you, for it proves to her that you are man who is in control of his emotions and cannot easily be angered by her emotional antics. Just remember, it’s a game and sometimes you will not win, and that’s OK. Sometimes a girl will be emotionally unstable and actually be a bitch to everyone. Courting should be fun and playful, and not you trying to start dating a hot-mess. If you find that is the case, be thankful that you just dodged a bullet and move on.
If you want to learn how to break through a woman’s bitch-shield, a great person to learn from is James Bond. How many James Bond movies have you seen where the woman he’s flirting with tries to dominate him with her catty attitude and fake rejections? About every single Bond movie. And what does James do? Bond ignores her, remains cool, calm, and collected no matter what she says or does. When he decides to verbally spar with her, he is always wittier, more dominate, and most importantly, unaffected by her silly attempts to get a rise out of him. If she gets out of place, Bond unapologetically puts her in her place. He dominates the interaction the entire time and she has no choice but to submit because it is in her nature to be attracted to a powerful alpha male.
So now that you know that a woman’s bitch-shield is simply her way of making room for more suitable men, you no longer have to take her bitchy attitude personally. I would suggest to treat it like child’s play and make it fun; and remember it’s all just a test to find out what you are made of. If you can’t keep the conversation going, bust her balls back, and lead the interaction as a man, then you subconsciously tell her you are not worthy, and she’s right.
Finding ways to disarm women’s shields is what makes courting so much fun; there are so many ways to flirt and fire back at any rejection with a witty remark. Just make sure playing the game with good spirits and not to take it so seriously. In time, you will deal with so many bitch-shields and learn so many different ways to break through them that one day you’ll be able to cut through them like a hot knife cuts through butter.