I am not one to meditate since my mind has always been too overwhelming, but that is why I recently I have forced myself to do it lately to try to reach some sort of “enlightenment”. On my journey for self-improvement and understanding, I will read anything and try anything to conquer my PTSD and my EGO/MIND complex.
I have recently been studying some mystics and Yogi thought from the East, specifically India, and I have been learning literally mind-blowing revelations that are so simple that our Western minds simply cannot see them as we tend to literally over-complicate almost everything. (I highly recommend ALL of you look up Sadhguru and simply watch his videos about the self and mind etc.) https://www.youtube.com/user/sadhguru
One thing the people in the East do a lot is meditate. There are many way to ‘meditate’ which are basically techniques to help you calm your mind. I sucked at it and failed to achieve anything when I tried it here and there. Ironically, I stumbled upon a video of this White lady who studied in India (a sex therapist no less) talking about relationships, meditation, and sex. She spoke about some topics and then asked her audience to join her in a quick meditation exercise designed to unite all five senses, which opens up the sixth sense.
(Emily Fletcher’s technique)
Her goal was to teach her audience this to be more present during sex so they could actually enjoy it more with all senses heightened. My interest wasn’t in that at all; but I decided to go with it anyway. I guess sex sells lol. The exercise had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with breathing and calming the mind. She guided her audience like a hypnotherapist would and I followed along with her instructions. I actually succeeded in uniting my senses for few moments; which I never accomplished before, and the sixth sense opened up. I began laughing as I touched this “god force” that knew everything was just fine and it was “all good” – the oneness and all that of being connected in the moment, which is the only real thing that exists.
Then my dog Max began to bark. I tried to remain calm and ignore him, but he was too loud so I stopped.
I figured that I got to the point of oneness and the laughter was the “freeing” of the mind, so I was satisfied with that experience and went about my business. But I realized everything was different. I put on a nice ambient song on YouTube, and the sounds really, really hit me deeply. Something inside told me close my eyes and simply focus on petting my dog since I yelled at him with anger. So I called Max over, who I was angry with for interrupting me (as the grumpy old man I’ve become), and I pet him with just pure love.
As the song played, I closed my eyes and began to pet him; I felt every hair, I felt his breath against my leg, I felt the feeling of feeling, I felt the existence; even with my eyes closed I could make out my arms and his body; until I basically became “nothing” and no thoughts were in mind and I was aware and all my senses heighten simultaneously. I hugged him and said “It’s OK Max..” Suddenly, TEARS, and I mean tears like a waterfall started flowing…. And there it happened; in that moment, I freed myself of my mind’s control, my ego, and my pain, all of it. I got up and said, ” I finally did it Max.” I went downstairs to show my wife my face; her reaction was, “ WTF happened!!?”
Now, I’m a man of science, so to ensure this wasn’t a fluke I went back upstairs, made some coffee and sat down. I turned on the same song; this time I put headphones on with the intention to repeat the first technique. But before I could even begin, I noticed my lips on my coffee mug, I noticed the smell of the coffee so intensely, the taste of the coffee on my tongue; again, my senses were ALREADY heightened, without any need to do anything. Again, the musical notes had me tearing a waterfall once more.
Again, a man of science I had to repeat the experiment. I did the same thing this third time, but this time I did focus on the technique and recorded it on video. I reached the same experience but almost no tears until the very end. I had the same feelings and awareness, and I accessed it a lot QUICKER, but the pain was less; as if each time there was less was there to let go.
As I write this I have a laser focus on my tasks and I feel like different person totally.
Whatever happened to me is permanent. As many of the yogis would say, I hit that point of “enlightenment.” Now not only do I understand consciously, but even emotionally how this mind/body works. Now I know what I am, and what I am not. I now know what has happened inside me, and how much self-induced suffering I have caused myself; how it has all been me. I will never be the same. This is something you cannot explain fully, and that you must experience which WILL change you, because it is how you finally take full control of mind.
This goes for all of us: 99% of our suffering is SELF-CREATED by our out-of-control MIND! Our MIND must be tamed! It must be controlled! IT MUST WORK FOR US; not AGAINST US, as it currently does. This is the point of meditation; not to be some hippy hugging trees and trying to end all wars, but to master ourselves!
So I just wanted to share what I just experienced. I’m not some pussy who cries; I’ve been to war and seen people get blown up. What I’m telling you isn’t silly nonsense or some kind of magical lovey-dovey everything will be OK type thing. No, there is no escape from this duality or matrix. Many of these new-age snake oil salespeople try to sell you this false hope of a utopia…This is nothing more than finding a way to improve ourselves beyond the physical. And if we all did this, then yes, naturally the world would become better, but just because you learn to tame your mind, that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to teleport and read minds and all this other fake shit they sell you. The existence is perfect; it is just controlled by shitty people who are currently running it because we are all too busy living in our heads in the ego. Thus, the EGO runs this world and this is the result.
Ultimately, we must all do something to control our egos and our minds, for if don’t have control over them, they will cause us unimaginable suffering with crazy expectations, jealousies, insecurities, fears about the future that doesn’t exist, regrets of a past long gone, and LIMIT OUR FULL POTENTIAL as a human beings until we die.
So if you want to live your life to the fullest, you must have FULL control of your emotional and mental faculties; and right now most of us have THE most sophisticated super-computer in the universe working against us: our mind. WE must gain control of it and mediation is the ONLY way to do it. Notice, all the other things you do to keep your mind off things demand and EXTERNAL thing; whether it be partying, sex, drugs, work, music, whatever; none of these things are inside you. You must learn how to tame your mind YOURSELF, otherwise you will always be enslaved chasing highs and being in “the moment” out there, when the power to achieve happiness and completion is WITHIN YOU.
Only a few may appreciate my experience and this status; this is for you. If you’re on the same journey as me, then keep pushing; you will break through. I feel, however, this is only the surface and I have more deep reflection and work to do. I finally feel that I am letting go of everything and becoming my true self, after all these years of suffering. But there is more work to be done, and I will do it.