All memories in our minds have an energetic charge, and the more you focus on specific memory, the more you reinforce the neuro-pathway that it exists in. I don’t want to get too deep into scientific theories, but it is said that reality only exists when someone is observing it; therefore, it would logically follow that our focus creates what you see as the world before you. What we focus on in our minds, too, creates how we experience our lives and ourselves.
Thinking consumes energy; you’ve probably experienced this when you focused on something too much, such as studying or doing something mentally strenuous. Simply focusing your mind for long periods of time can leave exhausted as if you worked out physically. We’ve all had our days where we experienced terrible anxiety or worry to the point we chose to stay in bed sobbing because we were too tired and upset to actually do something with ourselves – we were totally spent. Bad memories or thoughts tend to drain us, while good memories or thoughts, tend to energize us!
Think of a very bad memory for a moment, and notice how you feel about it. Notice how you actually feel down, and if you keep replaying this memory in your mind for too long, it would eventually depress you.
Now think of a positive memory, and notice how you feel about it. Notice how you actually good, and if you replayed it long enough you would become energized.
Interesting isn’t it?It seems it would be in our best interest to free ourselves of these negatively charged memories which only drain us, wouldn’t it?
The more we focus on the bad in our lives, the more we use our energy to reinforce negativity. In other words, we will train ourselves to be good at being depressed or sad or whatever else that is negative for us. Since most of us have this terrible habit of focusing on the bad, we create tend to self-sustaining, negative feedback loops that rob us of our vital energy.
Another interesting fact about the human mind is that it will react similarly to the same kind of stimulus, whether real or imagined, because it does not differentiate from the two. This can be easily demonstrated: I want you to imagine eating your favorite bowl of soup. I want you to notice how it tastes, and how much you love it. Keep doing this until you’ve had a few delicious spoons of it. Now this time, as you’re about to put the spoon in your mouth, I want you to look at it and notice that there is a HUGE DEAD COCKROACH FLOATING IN IT!!!! You’re favorite soup had a DEAD COCKROACH in it the whole time!
Even though this scenario wasn’t real, I know that if you truly focused on this exercise, you would have felt disgusted and you probably imagined spitting out the soup too!
So now that I have primed you with the basic understanding on how our minds react to real and unreal stimuli, let’s talk about how we can use this knowledge to help us get over bad memories. But first you must understand that we can never truly forget the things that have happened to us; especially if they were extremely traumatic events, but we can stop “feeding” those memories with our precious life energy by not remembering them the same way.
In fact, your mind doesn’t even have the ability to actually create a memory exactly how it was; it can only recreate a representation of it that is never completely accurate but carries appropriate emotions you assigned to it. You’ll remember that a memory is bad because it comes with painful emotions that your mind put there to protect you from it and other events that could be like it. In other words, you kept this memory around because it served a deeper function, to protect you in the future.
Second, when you recall a bad memory, you are actually going “back in time” so to speak and recreating an event that no longer exists in reality. Even though it was real at some point it your past, it no longer exists in the present moment and is actually not “real” at all. So when you decide to focus on a bad memory, not only are you going back in time to a place that no longer exists, you are recreating an inaccurate representation out of thin air which serves no purpose because you don’t need to be protected from that event that is not happening right now. And since the brain cannot tell the difference between what is real or what is imagined, it will again experience the pain of that past event in the present time.
So in one sense it is good to remember the things that have hurt you in order to avoid being hurt by similar things, but it is bad to allow something that doesn’t exist anymore to linger on in your mind and body, long after it has passed; especially when there is no reason to think of it at all.
So all you need to do now is learn to let go and avoid focusing on such things.
The following directions will be written in a hypnotic form of language. Please take time and follow each command so you experience the full effect of this exercise. You can do this all by yourself but some of you may find it to be more effective if you had someone else read these instructions to you as you sit in a relaxed, comfortable state with your eyes closed.
10 Step Bad Memory Release:
1.) I want you to recall a bad memory that you want to get over; travel back to that time, and go watch your former self live through it. Watch what you were doing, understand what you were feeling, and notice how it is effecting the past you right now, from an outside perspective.
2.) As you are there, notice that this is from a time when your former self did not know what you know today; and as you are observing this memory now, you realize what this event actually means to both of you and how it affected your life.
3.) As you are there observing your memory from a distance, you can now realize what you have learned from it. Notice that even though this memory may have been painful for both of you, that there is something positive that you can learn from it. And when you notice what that is, I want you to imagine that becoming a part of your awareness right now and integrating that into your being.
4.) I want you now want you to imagine that knowledge, being put in a box, and you handing it to your former self, so they too can understand what it all means so their pain can go away. Imagine yourself talking to your former self and giving them your strength, knowledge and understanding, and notice how you feel about it. Notice how you feel better about the event now and allow those feelings become a part of both of you.
5.) As you are imagining the event changing for the better, being that you know the things you know today and knowing that the event itself is only an recollection of a time passed, you come to realize that it didn’t need to go your way after all, and you are accepting of the fact that it went how it did, regardless of how you both wanted it to, because you are an amazing person who can overcome anything, and you did over come it after all.
6.) Now as you are observing your memory, I want you to imagine making peace with your former self; leaving the gifts you have now with them too, and telling them everything will be OK as you say goodbye. I want you to realize, as this is taking place now, how much stronger you both are now and how much tension is being released. Notice how you both feel lighter, and relieved, as if a weight was lifted off both of your shoulders.
7.) Now that you have made peace with your former self and the events that happened, you notice that this memory has served its purpose and no longer needs to be focused on. It’s time to travel back to the future which is now and imagine putting this event in its appropriate place in your past. Your past is either all the way to the left of your mind’s eye, or literally behind you. Whichever place you feel is the right place, imagine that memory being stuck there, and imagine it going out focus; turning blurry and completely losing its power over you.
8.) Now I want you to think of that old memory again, and notice how it is different. Notice how different you feel about this old memory and notice how much easier it is now to let it go. And since it is much easier, I want you to literally say, “Bye bye bad time, thanks for teaching me what you needed to, and making me a stronger person, but it’s time for me to move forward.” And imagine seeing the blurry memory fade into the past, as it gets farther and farther away from your sight.
9.) Now take a deep, deep breath, and hold it for 10 seconds.
10.) Begin to exhale slowly, and as you do so, imagine that the memory is leaving your body along the air with it, and realize that you have freed yourself from its negativity.
If necessary, repeat these 10 steps as many times as needed until you get over whatever it is you wish to get over.
This mental exercise can be compared to that of muscle-building training; the only difference here is that you are flexing your mind to build new neuro-pathways, instead of flexing your muscles to build new tissue at the gym. And just like building strong new muscles, you can build a stronger new brain which no longer needs to focus on negative things to survive.